One night in deepest sleep, I dreamed,
Upon the beach I walked.
The Lord was by my side each step
As quietly we talked.
Then on the sky my life appeared;
Each chapter was serene.
Two sets of footprints in the sand
I saw in every scene.
And then I noticed in some parts
Of discontent and strife,
Just a single pair of footprints
In the worst times of my life.
"Lord, you said you'd walk by me
In good times and in bad.
Why then weren't you with me
When you knew my life was sad?"
"My dearest child," God whispered.
"When you suffered then, I knew;
The single pair of footprints
Were those times I carried you."
Friday, August 28, 2009
10 Reasons Gay Marriage is Un-American
The following is meant to be satirical and remember to laugh!
1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
How to Sign up for Driver's Ed
Driver's Ed is Easy!
1. Go to http://www.driveredtogo.com
2. Click "Enroll" and find California and then select the appropriate course.
3. Enter your information, and at the part called "Special Offer Code or Gift Certificate," enter in this code: XM8-42B-FK9 to save $2 on your driver's ed, lowering the price to about $17.99.
Read through the lessons, do the final exam and practice on whatever parts you fail at. Then...
The DMV Written Test
Upon completing driver's ed, driveredtogo.com will send you a certificate. However, to actually take the Written test, you will need much more:
1. The form DL 44 filled out correctly and with parent signatures.
2. Your Social Security #
3. Birth Certificate or something similar (just needs to prove your age and that you are a legal resident)
4. The driver's ed certificate (the one you get from driveredtogo.com)
5. Another certificate that says that you are enrolled in driver training (mine was from AA... more info below)
6. Of course you need to pay for it (the test) - it's $28. ($6 for a retest though. Hopefully you won't have to come back if you studied)
7. Last but not least, study!
After the Written Test...
If you fail, that means that you should study and come back next week. If you pass, you get your permit and then you get to drive but you must have a 21 year old with you when you drive. Typically, it's a good idea to find out when you will be doing behind-the-wheel training (which you probably paid a lot for) and do it while you still remember the rules of the road. I did my six hours with AA Teen Driving Academy. Their phone number is (949) 551-4860. They have great teachers, each have a different teaching style and you get a new teacher for each 2 hour stretch that you do. The car is provided so all you will need is your permit when you go out to drive with them.
6 months and 50 hours of driving with an adult (including 10 hours at night) later, you will be eligible to take the Driving Test. Good luck!
1. Go to http://www.driveredtogo.co
2. Click "Enroll" and find California and then select the appropriate course.
3. Enter your information, and at the part called "Special Offer Code or Gift Certificate," enter in this code: XM8-42B-FK9 to save $2 on your driver's ed, lowering the price to about $17.99.
Read through the lessons, do the final exam and practice on whatever parts you fail at. Then...
The DMV Written Test
Upon completing driver's ed, driveredtogo.com will send you a certificate. However, to actually take the Written test, you will need much more:
1. The form DL 44 filled out correctly and with parent signatures.
2. Your Social Security #
3. Birth Certificate or something similar (just needs to prove your age and that you are a legal resident)
4. The driver's ed certificate (the one you get from driveredtogo.com)
5. Another certificate that says that you are enrolled in driver training (mine was from AA... more info below)
6. Of course you need to pay for it (the test) - it's $28. ($6 for a retest though. Hopefully you won't have to come back if you studied)
7. Last but not least, study!
After the Written Test...
If you fail, that means that you should study and come back next week. If you pass, you get your permit and then you get to drive but you must have a 21 year old with you when you drive. Typically, it's a good idea to find out when you will be doing behind-the-wheel training (which you probably paid a lot for) and do it while you still remember the rules of the road. I did my six hours with AA Teen Driving Academy. Their phone number is (949) 551-4860. They have great teachers, each have a different teaching style and you get a new teacher for each 2 hour stretch that you do. The car is provided so all you will need is your permit when you go out to drive with them.
6 months and 50 hours of driving with an adult (including 10 hours at night) later, you will be eligible to take the Driving Test. Good luck!
How to Register for the SAT for Dummies
Believe it or not, some people don't know how to register for the SAT. If that's you, then keep reading. Also, you can send this info to people who need it.
How to Register for the SAT:
1. Go to this site:
http://www.collegeboard.com/student/testing/sat/reg.html
Tips
1. Location, location, location. Be sure to register at a place where the desks are a little bigger. I found that Capistrano High was a good place. IVC is good too, but UCI is not (their desks are too small).
2. Study! Buy the Collegeboard's Official SAT Study Guide. Either the 2008 (1st edition) or the 2009 (2nd edition) will work. Others also recommend buying a book from Barron's, but I find the Official study guide is good enough.
3. Practice! The best way to raise your points is to keep doing practice tests (all of 10 of them). Remember to conduct the tests in a quiet place, and to go through it all at once (4 hours).
If you follow these steps, you should expect a decent score.
Good luck!
How to Register for the SAT:
1. Go to this site:
http://www.collegeboard.co
Tips
1. Location, location, location. Be sure to register at a place where the desks are a little bigger. I found that Capistrano High was a good place. IVC is good too, but UCI is not (their desks are too small).
2. Study! Buy the Collegeboard's Official SAT Study Guide. Either the 2008 (1st edition) or the 2009 (2nd edition) will work. Others also recommend buying a book from Barron's, but I find the Official study guide is good enough.
3. Practice! The best way to raise your points is to keep doing practice tests (all of 10 of them). Remember to conduct the tests in a quiet place, and to go through it all at once (4 hours).
If you follow these steps, you should expect a decent score.
Good luck!
A Poem
It’s those crisp winter mornings that she lives for.
Those mornings she can feel the chill air nipping at her cheeks while coiled under the blankets, with no real intent to get up.
It’s in these moments that she thinks the clearest, ignoring everything besides her steady breathing and watches the pictures her mind paints as she thinks through her problems.
Her mind tells the stories of her possible decisions and their possible outcomes, each as intriguing as the one before.
She speeds through her problems, quickly finding her own answer. She’s never been keen on taking more than a few hours to at least vaguely decide what she will do.
Rushing things seems to be her strong point. It has never been that she hasn’t thought the problems through, more so that her mind cannot stand to go any slower than the fastest it can.
As she skips from problem to problem she smiles and laughs, frowns and sheds anger tears. She handles her life.
It’s these mornings and these moments where her life takes flight, despite her apparent lack of action now. Looking back at events and trying to find their true meaning defines her.
Many, including herself, consider this extreme over-thinking. It’s her Achilles heel, her acute attention to details and over analysis of them. But it is also what defines her, and creates who she has been and determines who she will become.
With each detail, her own analysis which creates a path towards an idea, some that lead to action and some the lack there of.
___________________________________________________________________________________
I wonder if anyone else sees the real motive behind her lying eyes that truly makes her cry. That’s all I have been pondering for the last half an hour.
The tears running down the defendant’s cheeks seemed to be real and genuine to all that sat behind her in support on the hard wooden benches.
Except to me. One can only look into a set of eyes so many times longing for truth, before she finally comes to realize she will never find it there.
As her daughter I looked to her for guidance and love, only to realize all too soon that I was the provider of advice and compassion in this relationship.
Now, almost twelve years later, few things have changed. The only main difference now being that my mother will finally have to wreak the consequences of her actions for the past eighteen years. A day that I have been waiting for for too many years, which is despicable.
Too many wonder how anyone can be truly happy that their mother is being sent away, with no real way of coming back. And too many have shunned me for choosing realistic answers and sides over how what others expect a daughter to do.
At forty five, learning how to find your own answers and creating yourself should be old hat. No one should be creating you besides yourself at any point in your life, but by now it should be ingrained within you to fight.
So my question is, what will finally push her to take control of her own life? For too long I have been a dictating force and voice of reason that pushed her in the most right direction I knew. And at the same time the driving force that made her do the exact opposite of logical, because I had been the one to suggest it.
I believe this is the final push she needs. Complete isolation from anyone that is willing to help her. This is her defining moment, whether or not anyone is willing to admit it.
I have faith in her that she will find herself and be able to take control finally instead of always needing someone to control it for her, but she needs to be pushed to her extremes. Forced to reckon with her past, and mold herself a better future.
__________________________________________________________________________________
When someone tells you to go, run.
To drive, go fast.
To love, fall hard.
To kiss, use passion.
To learn, teach.
To write, make Stephen King jealous
Too give up, fight harder.
Its ok to cry, laugh.
When someone tells you to do something, do it better.
___________________________________________________________________________________
She really didn’t know what was waiting for her on the other side of the door.
She knew who she wanted it to be, but the likelihood of that was in the tenths or a percent.
The one who made her feel swept off her feet, yet so hopeless and insignificant at the same time.
The one who, for a reason she couldn’t think of, had her heart.
Maybe that statement is too bold, but it seems that as of late, things are quite out of the norm.
She hadn’t yet reached the bottom of the stairs when she checked her phone for the time.
11:11. Make a wish.
We all know what she wished for.
As she grasped for the handle, she vaguely contemplated looking out the peep hole, but really saw no reason too.
She got what she wished for.
He was on the other end of the barrel, pointed at her face. Already cocked and ready to blow, all he did was pull the trigger.
At least this love ended painlessly.
Those mornings she can feel the chill air nipping at her cheeks while coiled under the blankets, with no real intent to get up.
It’s in these moments that she thinks the clearest, ignoring everything besides her steady breathing and watches the pictures her mind paints as she thinks through her problems.
Her mind tells the stories of her possible decisions and their possible outcomes, each as intriguing as the one before.
She speeds through her problems, quickly finding her own answer. She’s never been keen on taking more than a few hours to at least vaguely decide what she will do.
Rushing things seems to be her strong point. It has never been that she hasn’t thought the problems through, more so that her mind cannot stand to go any slower than the fastest it can.
As she skips from problem to problem she smiles and laughs, frowns and sheds anger tears. She handles her life.
It’s these mornings and these moments where her life takes flight, despite her apparent lack of action now. Looking back at events and trying to find their true meaning defines her.
Many, including herself, consider this extreme over-thinking. It’s her Achilles heel, her acute attention to details and over analysis of them. But it is also what defines her, and creates who she has been and determines who she will become.
With each detail, her own analysis which creates a path towards an idea, some that lead to action and some the lack there of.
__________________________
I wonder if anyone else sees the real motive behind her lying eyes that truly makes her cry. That’s all I have been pondering for the last half an hour.
The tears running down the defendant’s cheeks seemed to be real and genuine to all that sat behind her in support on the hard wooden benches.
Except to me. One can only look into a set of eyes so many times longing for truth, before she finally comes to realize she will never find it there.
As her daughter I looked to her for guidance and love, only to realize all too soon that I was the provider of advice and compassion in this relationship.
Now, almost twelve years later, few things have changed. The only main difference now being that my mother will finally have to wreak the consequences of her actions for the past eighteen years. A day that I have been waiting for for too many years, which is despicable.
Too many wonder how anyone can be truly happy that their mother is being sent away, with no real way of coming back. And too many have shunned me for choosing realistic answers and sides over how what others expect a daughter to do.
At forty five, learning how to find your own answers and creating yourself should be old hat. No one should be creating you besides yourself at any point in your life, but by now it should be ingrained within you to fight.
So my question is, what will finally push her to take control of her own life? For too long I have been a dictating force and voice of reason that pushed her in the most right direction I knew. And at the same time the driving force that made her do the exact opposite of logical, because I had been the one to suggest it.
I believe this is the final push she needs. Complete isolation from anyone that is willing to help her. This is her defining moment, whether or not anyone is willing to admit it.
I have faith in her that she will find herself and be able to take control finally instead of always needing someone to control it for her, but she needs to be pushed to her extremes. Forced to reckon with her past, and mold herself a better future.
__________________________
When someone tells you to go, run.
To drive, go fast.
To love, fall hard.
To kiss, use passion.
To learn, teach.
To write, make Stephen King jealous
Too give up, fight harder.
Its ok to cry, laugh.
When someone tells you to do something, do it better.
__________________________
She really didn’t know what was waiting for her on the other side of the door.
She knew who she wanted it to be, but the likelihood of that was in the tenths or a percent.
The one who made her feel swept off her feet, yet so hopeless and insignificant at the same time.
The one who, for a reason she couldn’t think of, had her heart.
Maybe that statement is too bold, but it seems that as of late, things are quite out of the norm.
She hadn’t yet reached the bottom of the stairs when she checked her phone for the time.
11:11. Make a wish.
We all know what she wished for.
As she grasped for the handle, she vaguely contemplated looking out the peep hole, but really saw no reason too.
She got what she wished for.
He was on the other end of the barrel, pointed at her face. Already cocked and ready to blow, all he did was pull the trigger.
At least this love ended painlessly.
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